Friday, December 31, 2004

Dummies Guide to Identifing The New Year ( Subjective )

Well the new year's here !! By saying that I don't mean to personify ' The New Year ' and it hasn't actually come to me and wished me. But the simplest way to judge whether it's a new year or not is to check the following symptoms. They occur every year and is akin to a world-wide epidemic ( amazing the WHO officials haven't realised yet). This epidemic is more like a syndrome known as ' The-New-Year-once-in-a-year-syndrome ' where people all round the glode in every corner of the world ( this point actually irritates me, we all know the globe is a sphere and there are no corner's in a sphere. Then why in the name of neptune is the expression 'In all corner's of the world ' ?? ) instead of treating the disease actually celebrate it. Any way here are some point's to remember to identify the new year -

1) outside every house you see heaps of calenders thrown out.

2) if your wall calender says december 31, then the next day has to be new year.

3) a group of half-witted, silly numb nuts decide to make new year resolutions

4) if you include a bit of complexity into the process. measure the position of the Alpha Centuri stars with respect to the Earth's longitude and latitude on the 31st december of any year. exactly after the 364 1/4 days when the earth is on the same latitude and longitude you have your new year on that day. Simple isn't it !!

5) But if you ask me, we are encouraged always from the childhood to think differently and to expand your imagination and to let our thoughts reach the skies. Well in that case I wouldn't bother much about the new year. Live and Let Live, I don't bother the new year and it doesn't bother me....

Monday, December 27, 2004

Tsunami Debacle ( poetry )

Oh god what have you done,
it was a beautiful sunday,
and people looking forward for a Salami meal,
instead you gave them a Tsunami meal.
Oh god what have you done,
one moment it was land,
and the next it was water,
exponentially increasing the confusion levels of the normal person.
Oh god what have you done,
did they deserve all this,
they are all your children,
atleast you could have considered people who couldn't swim.

Oh god what have you done,
people were at the beach for a walk on a sunday with their families,
one instant they were hale and hearty,
and the next completely terminated much like the pogrom of nazis.
Oh god what have you done,
next time you plan to do something like this,
atleast warn us through Iris,
your trusted servant.
May god RIP the 10,000 odd soules that freed the Earth of their weight...


A Notice ...

From here on I'll be categorising my posts for the convenience of the reader. A humorous post will have a 'humour' written along with the title. So on and so forth. This should give the reader a clear idea as to what's going to hit them!!

Sunday, December 26, 2004

The Great Indian Cricket Team !!

Well, what can I say. Only India can do this. Just a fortnight ago there was a serious talk about whether it's fair or not to allow teams like India play against minnows like Bangladesh. It would silence the critics after the thumping victory in the 2nd ODI.
In fact I would say that which ever team, whenever they want to feel good about themselves should definately play against India. They have the capability to make any team feel good about themselves. I would go to the extreme to say that our cricket team doesn't have that edge and the sting to finish it off. They have always been on the softer side of things. A very noble quality indeed, some might say. Any team after a series with India feel rejuvinated and on top of the world. That's just how a blade of grass feels under rain or a sunflower under the sun or better Pamela Anderson after a photo session. What say??

Friday, December 24, 2004

Swades - We the people

Just back from the new Shah Rukh Khan movie 'Swadesh'. The movie is a nice watch. In fact I would go as far as saying that it's a must watch for every Indian....

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

To Kiss or Not to

Weel for one thing I really appreciate, Hurrah to the new innovations in technology, may they flourish like the population of rats. There is a point of view that technology is being misused. well, the people who say this are all cynics. They are too cranky and all screwed up in the head to appreciate the wonders of new and innovative technology.
The recent scandal concerning the obscene kissing scene between the movie stars Kareena kapoor & Shaid kapoor is an apt example of this case. Well, critics call it misuse of technology. But then what else are you supposed to do with a camera/video phone?? Well you cannot stop people to not use their gadgets, so the best solution is - " Kareena, you should learn to keep where your tongue belongs, that's your mouth"...

Monday, December 20, 2004

Vulgarity or Sensuality ??

I came home after a break of almost 6 months. In this gap I hardly had a chance to watch television as I don't have one. Anyways I came home expecting a nice time in front of the 'Idiot box'. To my horror and discomfort I found most of the stuff that comes on television is nothing but a skin show. Let me be frank with you, I do like to watch it!! But then you are caught in an awkward moment when your mom or dad catches you ogling at those lovely heroins on screen. You sort of pretend as though the remote is not working, give it a good shake and make a helpless looking face and say "Damn! may be the batteries are out".
Anyways, what i'm trying to get at is that there is so much of this love, romance and mushy emotional shit in the serials and the movies that it actually motivates the eager and receptive minds to actually try it out. A recent case can be seen from this MMS Scandal. These kids have ruined their lives to say the least. This excessive portrayal of the love factor ( which definately involves the sex part ) churn the hormones and those desires. It is only human to want to try it out practically. Bollywood seems to have found it's latest passion- 'Romance'. The latest trend seems to be ' Romance replaces Violence '. Any movie worth its matter definately has this love element, which inevitably takes the viewer to Eldorado. As for me, I'm yet to devise ways to have a sneek-peek at those gorgeous females with plenty of oomph. Happy viewing!!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Hide & Seek - Newtonian Way

Long long ago, all the famous scientists decided to meet and celebrate their successes. Every type and genre of scientist were present. Their was Einstein, Newton, Mary Curie at al. Name a scientist and you have them their. All of them decided to play the game of hide and seek. After much debate Einstein was decided to be the seeker. He started counting till 100 and everyone was running hither and tither much like the leaves of a tree during a tornade session. Anyway everyone went for hiding except Newton. he just stood behind Einstein and made a square measuring 1m x 1m. After making the square on the ground, he stood inside it and waited for Einstein to finish the count. After finishing his count till 100, einstein turned and the following dialogue took
place -

Einstein - Hey Newton , You are the first One to be out. Thanks for making my life easy...

Newton - You are wrong Einstein. I'm not Out.

Einstein - You didn't hide and you are the first one to be spotted. that means you are out...

Newton - You are wrong again Einstein. i'm not out.

Einstein - ( now getting furious by the minute ) According to the rules of the game, You are out...

Newton - You are wrong again Einstein. I'm not out.

Einstein - ( Now fuming ) What's the matter with you, you numb nut !! you are out...

Newton - ( very sternly ) No, I'm not ...

Einstein - ( trying to regain his stability ) Tell me why you are not out??

Newtoon - Because I'm standing in a square of dimensions 1m x 1m . And Newton per meter square is
1 Pascal. So Pascal is out not me!!!

Morbid fear of ' Records '

I feel humans suffer from this morbid fear of the word 'Record'. That is why they keep celebrating its demise. People celebrate so as to keep alive the Human spirit. When cricket records tumbled in the India - Bangladesh series, we were ready to celebrate the longivity of human achievement. Or the fraility of the individual achievement. How Iconic !! I mean can we count these records which were broken against a side which are the so called 'third world cricket playing nations' ? Can we count centuries scored by tendulkar against minnows like Kenya, Holland, Bangladesh, U.A.E. In that sense the record of Sunil Gavaskar still stands. And also in that sense Gavaskar faced a lot tougher competetion compared to this Era.
In that case, Don Bradman should be declared the 'God of Cricket'. The records of both Sachin tendulkar & Sunil Gavaskar can still be surmountable, but the records of Don Bradman will stand the test of time. In fact the ICC should officialise a 'Bradman Scale'. Based on this scale, a cricketer's records and his achievements are judged. Something like Sachin = 3/4 Bradman. This is something similar to the Dollar Standard for Currency, since we are sure that Dollar will be stable and it can be used as an index. In the same sense, an Aussie scale can be used to judge the standard of a cricketing nation. But at present the Indian Cricket team is recharging itself with the 'Bangla Booster'. An energy gaining tour which will make them fell good about themselves as more records tumble. what say??

War & Peace

War & Peace hailed by many as one of the greatest works in English Literature has truly lived upto its expectation. This epic by Leo Tolestoy provides great insights into the way we look and perceive life. Through its 2 protagonists Prince Pierre Andrei Bolkonsky and Count Pierre Bezukhof , leo brings out the meaning of life, the purpose of our birth and other related questions. The language used is simply astounding,amazing!! Actually you can take the word excellent and multiply it ten-fold, that's how good the language is. For all you suspence and thriller lovers this book will be a mojor disappointment. In fact, I can go on record and say that they can't even go beyond the 50th page of this voluminous 700 page edition. For all I can say this book exudes a different flovour, which only a few can feel and appreciate.

Friday, December 17, 2004

The Next Take. . .

It's been october since my last post. i had been in hibernation for the past 2 months ( much like the frogs and the polar bears do). Whoever reads my post ( if at all there are people reading it!) my be wondering whether i'm dead or alive. Well, i'm alive !! I have been really really busy with as the elders call it ' making my life ' . My CAT exam for MBA admissions ended on a good note and the semesters have also bidded farewell. Anyways, it's the last semester of my engineering and now i have got's loads of time. hurrrrahhh. . .