It’s been my practice for the past 3 months to just glance over the headlines. The content can be guessed to a certain degree of accuracy. The worldly news has become so mundane & predictable to this intellectual mind, that they just seem to be a mere wastage of the precious resource called ‘Time’. It has been going fine till the other day when the dickens of these headlines raised its ugly head and I got a good taste of how misunderstanding can be given a good opportunity to play its game on you. ( Try reading these as a connected sentences ).
Celebrate the festive Spirit | Silver Lamps go missing in Temple | Sachin rules | A minor girl raped in Mumbai | V.Anand eyes big fish | Shakeela to act as Magdalene | Want help ?? | PM asks media to go global | Sale 50% off | Net profit for Bald & the Beautiful | US bombs wrong target in Iraq | Old people told to stay alert | Now Few farmers die due to suicide | Farmer run over by lorry | Forest VIP’s have a wild time | Secrets revealed | 10 year old suffocates under old clothes piles | 7 Indians get French awards | 113-year old women dies | Police more vigilant now | Burglars loot 5 houses | Police man shoots himself | Explosives recovered | Foreign brands flock to India | Pill to prevent heart stroke | For baby soft elbows & knees | Eat or be Eaten | Bomb erupted in Madurai | Pak gas fields stays shut | Ayurvedic capsule to cure gas troubles | Lalu in a new Avatar | Sonia steps in to pacify Lalu | Govinda and Mithun chocroborthy to act in a movie | Sensex takes a 112-point plunge | Paper shortage ?? | Ration cards put to good use |
There you go. I went bonkers after this newspaper reading session. Probably this is how Porky Pig & Elmerfud felt trying to understand Theory of Reletivity…
Monday, January 31, 2005
Monday, January 24, 2005
Keywords of 2005
Well it’s 24 days past the new year and contrary to all my wishes I haven’t grown taller or broader. Like any year 2005 promises to be a action packed 364 1/4 days, but there are certain key words which will ‘Iterate & Refine’ through this phase. Probably if you put in all the newspapers of the world into a word processing machine at the end of the year, these particular words will be the most popular and the most used in this year. These words are all related to the incidental causes of the unknown which is vastly thought of as the psychic powers of the mystical mind. They are to be treated as any other words and without any discrimination. They are words after all, they too have feelings. So before any further delay, I give you this -
Most -
1) Bush ( I’m referring to the both kinds !! just joking )
2) War against terrorism
3) AIDS
4) Parliament Walkouts.
5) China
6) Obituaries
Least -
1) Peace on Earth.
2) I’m least likely to hear about an easy going half-witted, jerk-off in Mars.
3) Hopefully
4) Victorious
5) Nature
6) Family planning
Well here they are, for all of you to watch and analyze. I know what all of you must be thinking, " what a lousy half-baked article !@#$ ". Well yes, I agree. You think of the most ugliest thing in the world and this article is uglier than that. Even Argus would look cute in comparison to this article!! This is a shit of an article and it is a disgrace to the entire fraternity of ‘ articalism ’. I think this article sets new standards or should I say re-defines the lowest possible standard you can think of to write the worst, most pathetic and the most senseless piece of crap you can think of. Articles aren’t and shouldn’t just be a collection of alphabets with no sense ( this is akin to the numerous politicians who meet up in the parliament to decide the country policies ). In both cases nothing productive turns out. Language and alphabets should be treated with divinity. They should be respected, and only then will they give you glory and satisfaction. I seriously pity that part of the brain of the writer who had such pathetic ideas, I think he’s diseased !! he ought to meet up with a psychiatrist and fix up his nuts… ( If he can find them that is)
Most -
1) Bush ( I’m referring to the both kinds !! just joking )
2) War against terrorism
3) AIDS
4) Parliament Walkouts.
5) China
6) Obituaries
Least -
1) Peace on Earth.
2) I’m least likely to hear about an easy going half-witted, jerk-off in Mars.
3) Hopefully
4) Victorious
5) Nature
6) Family planning
Well here they are, for all of you to watch and analyze. I know what all of you must be thinking, " what a lousy half-baked article !@#$ ". Well yes, I agree. You think of the most ugliest thing in the world and this article is uglier than that. Even Argus would look cute in comparison to this article!! This is a shit of an article and it is a disgrace to the entire fraternity of ‘ articalism ’. I think this article sets new standards or should I say re-defines the lowest possible standard you can think of to write the worst, most pathetic and the most senseless piece of crap you can think of. Articles aren’t and shouldn’t just be a collection of alphabets with no sense ( this is akin to the numerous politicians who meet up in the parliament to decide the country policies ). In both cases nothing productive turns out. Language and alphabets should be treated with divinity. They should be respected, and only then will they give you glory and satisfaction. I seriously pity that part of the brain of the writer who had such pathetic ideas, I think he’s diseased !! he ought to meet up with a psychiatrist and fix up his nuts… ( If he can find them that is)
Monday, January 03, 2005
Shhhhh !! A Moment of Silence... ( Humour )
As every one knows, I don't have sense of humor and I really am pathetic at it. But what the hell I'll give it a shot - As the death toll reaches 2 lakh in the tsunami tragedy, let us take a minute to honor those who have parted. ‘ A Moment of silence ‘ as it is called is used to honor the dead. Why in the name of any well bread, half-witted, mentally tangled numb nuts does it have to be ‘ A Moment of Silence ‘ ??
I mean, how about a minute of shouting to honor the dead. Just to spice things up. That should put the mourners in a good mood for the party, which is to be followed after ‘ The Honor code ‘. There is a second point which bothers me to no end. In any normal accident like the one we had a week ago, there end up far more casualties than the dead, then how about following a moment of muffled conversation to honor them. Why does it always have to be the dead?? Don’t we want to celebrate life ??
Any one agree with me ??
I mean, how about a minute of shouting to honor the dead. Just to spice things up. That should put the mourners in a good mood for the party, which is to be followed after ‘ The Honor code ‘. There is a second point which bothers me to no end. In any normal accident like the one we had a week ago, there end up far more casualties than the dead, then how about following a moment of muffled conversation to honor them. Why does it always have to be the dead?? Don’t we want to celebrate life ??
Any one agree with me ??
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