Software Bandwagon

The other day I and my friend vikraman were perambulating near our college. Suddenly we saw this lorry full of bi-pedal, vertebrate creatures. We couldn’t help but drift our thoughts to the ongoing rush in the software field i.e. ‘ Software Bandwagon ‘.

A Sequeal to Euphemisms

Man these Euphemisms are getting to me !! here’s another one in this genre. The first one was a general one, but this deals with the pathetic euphemisms used to describe the conditions of soldiers. They do so much to protect our country and to give self-esteem and honor to a country and we repay them by these insults. To give you a snippet, a soldier who has been in war for a considerable period of time leads to frustration, anxiety, psychological disorders. Basically it’s a state where the soldier snaps his nerves and goes nuts ( it’s something like trying to run and shit at the same time ). They go miles away from sanity.

This particular condition was called ‘ Shell-shock ‘ during the first world war. Simple and clear. Only 2 syllables long and easy to pronounce. It describes the state of a soldier perfectly and at the same time doesn’t hurt his feelings.

As time passed, during the second world war Shell-shock changed to ‘ Battle Fatigue ‘. This is 4 syllables long. Not as clear as the previous one and makes it more soft and less severe.

In and around 1950’s Battle Fatigue was upgraded to ‘ Operational Exhaustion ‘. Doesn’t it sound like something in relation to a car, Operational exhaustion!! It now became 8 syllables long.

Now this particular state which the soldiers suffer is called ‘ Post-traumatic Stress Disorder ‘. It’s still 8 syllables but it hardly focuses on the problems the soldiers face. It’s stressful enough to pronounce this word !!

Euphemisms

Over the last 100 years English language has undergone major transition in the way it’s expressed. We no longer seem to put things in the straight way, the round about route is preferred. Moreover it is associated to be a behavioral trait i.e. if one uses more euphemisms in his language he’s said to be urbane and polished and the rest are all brutes. These euphemisms are tricky things, they ought to be handled well. Personally euphemisms take the life out of the language. In the moral world we live in, euphemisms would be charged of murder of first degree. Here are some which are so frequently used by us – ( right – the word, left – euphemism )

Fat person – horizontally challenged
Handicapped – Physical disability / Physically challenged
Short man – Vertically challenged
Blindness – visual impairment
Old persons – senior citizens
Exercise – physical training
Cooking – appropriate preparedness of the amino acids, carbohydrates, minerals & vitamins to be physically consumed
Running et al – track events
Death – to pass away / to leave us / expire
Toilet paper – bathroom tissue
Sneakers – running shoes
False teeth – dental appliances
Medicines – medication
Information – directory assistance
Dumping area – landfill
Car crashes – automobile accidents
Partly cloudy – partly sunny
Motels – motor lodges
House trailers – mobile homes
Used cars – previously owned transportation
Room service – guest room dining
Constipation – occasional irregularity
Hospital – health maintenance organization / wellness centre
Doctor – health care professional
Slums – illegally occupied, economically disadvantaged city areas
Killing – depopulation / nutralising
To lie – dis-information
Murderers – commandos / crime fighters
Nuclear radiation – sun shine units
Terrorists – freedom fighters
Fire men – fire fighters
Cripples – people in need of special assistance / differently abled
Deaf – hearing impaired
Stupid people – learning disorder / minimally exceptional
Ugly people – people with severe appearance deficits

All these euphemisms are so make belief that it takes people into another world where they feel that the problems they are dealing with are not so bad after all. It makes them fell less concerned with the issues at hand. Things are getting so bad that soon a rape victim would be called as ‘ an unwilling sperm recipient ‘ and a rapist as ‘ a willing sperm donor ‘.

Rape victim – unwilling sperm recipient
Rapist – willing sperm donor

To continue . . .

90 years old – 90 years young
old – older
malpractice – experimental misadventure

This brutal distortion of language makes me want to vomit or should I say ' to engage in an involuntary personal protein spill ' .